I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
