He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
