The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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