Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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