I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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