hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
