Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
being pregnant is like rehab
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
