What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
