it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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