and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
