Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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