I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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