just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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