So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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