Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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