Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
