Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
