I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
