Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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