she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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