Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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