Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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