I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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