your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
