You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
