I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
