one might say we're banned from that church
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
