Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I FOUND THE LEGS
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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