I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
