somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
