So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
