I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize