life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
