its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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