Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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