and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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