somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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