i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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