He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
