I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We just shotgunned beers for America
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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