I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Screwed.edu
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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