Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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