Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
