She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
