It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize