Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
