Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize