fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
should my penis look like a turkey
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
