the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
