We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
