I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
