do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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