You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
