ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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