but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
