yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
P.S. I can't hear my feet
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
