Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize