barbara walters just said penis...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
