The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
this just has baby written all over it
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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