just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
