Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
