I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
