Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
