Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
