I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
